R.I.P My Sweet JR

I am writing on only a few hours of sleep but I feel and have this over powering sensation to write my feelings. What I am writing about has been actually over the 15 years or so......my family is loosing our precious lab JR. For the last few years we have known he was very old and this time would soon be coming but it has come to soon.
I remember it is as if it were yesterday.......It was summer time and Justin, "my first boyfriend" called and told me his puppy had finally had her puppies and there was a black one just for me to give to my brother, who was wanting a "black lab to hunt with". I was so excited I rode my bike ( a few blocks) over to his house to see the puppies. I had to hurry though cause we were leaving for Scott City cause I was playing softball that night. I picked out JR, he was a male and the only black one that was born. Months later we were able to bring JR home and Austin had a brand new puppy!
This was 15 years ago! We were a "dog family" actually we were an all animal family. Justin in also gave me cat...haha I'll always remember that too! As the years went by JR grew, and grew, and grew some more. He was the largest, biggest dog in all of Dighton. He was the most love able, sweetest, caring and gentle dog ever. He was very protective of our house and of our family. He had a loud and very deep bark that actually scared people. We knew he wouldn't hurt a fly! He went hunting every time with Austin and my dad, he was there with us through high school and then as we went on to college. He was always there! The night my dad had his heart attack he actually woke me up before my dad even came into the house. It was like he knew. He was a very very smart dog. The the day came where my parents decided to move out of Dighton and to the city of Wichita. To start a new business. How would JR react to this was the first thing we all thought of? Would he adjust to "city life" okay? He did and he loved it here as much as we have.
In Dighton, my dad would always go to the Kwik Shop for a donut and coffee and well he would take JR along with him. He did not ride like a normal dog....have any of the Morris dogs been normal? No, my dad put him from the time he was little to the time when he was 230 pounds and huge, right in the passenger front seat of his pickup, and off they went to the Kwik Shop. Where dad got his donut and coffee and he always came out with a hot dog in the bun with ketchup for JR. This was an everyday thing. Of course where I grew up everyone knows everyone and so they all knew in the afternoon Bear would be coming with JR for a hot dog. That silly tradition carried over when they moved here to Wichita....up until a year ago dad and JR went to QT and got their fixes.
So, for the last couple months we have seen drastic changes in our sweet JR. I myself tried not to think about it cause it was not real to me if I did not think about it. Then your phone rings and you get that call..... yesterday I had a doctors appointment so I left work early. Went to the doctor and then went to work out. It was early so I finished working out earlier then normal. As I was almost home my brother calls me and says I should go over to mom and dads that JR is not good. Last Monday before we left for Lawrence for the KU game we got the news that he had Thyroid Cancer. And pretty much his whole body was cancer. But amazingly his heart was still so strong for his age the Vet could not believe it. His heart would be the last thing to go. I came home, got Carver and for 5 hours yesterday we sat with him. My parents were not going to put him down unless he started suffering so the vet gave my dad some pills that would make him "comfortable" and to where he could feel no pain and he could go at home with us. Well, the pills the first time did not work and I witnessed my dog have four seizers. It was the most horrible, saddest thing I have ever seen in my life. I'll never be able to get those images out of my head. I was not going to leave but they made me.
I have lost both sets of my grandparents, several friends, cousins, my father-in-law and three dogs.....and human or animal it all hurts the same way. It hurts so damn bad! So, in the end what do we understand. Well, I LOVE dogs and I will continue to have them in my life and someday in my children's life. My experiences and the things I remember from growing up with all my dogs are my best memories. They bring us so much happiness and then like anything we have to say good bye. I have watched my parents and my brother suffer through this for the last three days and it is so hard. So, today a decision will be made by our family and either one is the right one I believe. God Bless Jr and his 15 amazing years as a Morris. You will be missed!